


shine a light, so bright

by twocandles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, Supernatural Finale, TheirLoveWasReal, spn finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27883254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twocandles/pseuds/twocandles
Summary: A fix-it for the finale, Dean and Cas finally talk.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57
Collections: Their Love Was Real: a Destiel & Saileen Fanworks Challenge





	shine a light, so bright

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 15x18 and the finale. Which tbh I haven't watched, because I haven't watched the show since S5... But after I heard about the mess I felt the urge to write a fic. So obviously I made this all up but I hope it gets its point across.

Dean opens his eyes. And closes them again. It's too bright. Light and white. He needs a moment to come to his senses. This is new. He feels _light_.

He blinks again and lets his eyes adjust. There's a shadow. And a voice, calling his name. "Dean."

He knows that voice. Would know it anywhere. His heart skips a beat. 

Cas. 

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean." His voice is soft and deep, and just slightly hoarse.

"Where am I?" He turns to look around but there's nothing but white light.

"You don't remember. Temporary amnesia is common in this condition," Cas says, as if that explains anything. Or does it? 

"This is the Antecourt, where a loved one picks up a deceased soul." 

Now it's slowly coming to him. The rebar. Sam. Him slowly bleeding out. 

_A loved one._

He stares at Cas now, almost the way Cas used to stare at him. 

"You're _here_? How..."

"Jack restored Heaven and brought me back to help him sort it all out. I can show you."

But Dean is still too fixated on Cas to hear much of anything. White static in his brain. It's overwhelming. He's back. Everything is not lost. This is his chance.

He's silent for a minute. When he finally finds words it's like a dam is broken. All the things he never said, all the things he bottled up and was too afraid to look at; he promised himself, if he ever got the chance to talk to Cas again he would _say_ them. And so he does.

"I thought I'd never see again. Cas, I thought I had lost you forever. Sam and I started looking for lore and ways to defeat the Empty and get you back, but there was no time... and I couldn't bear the thought of never speaking to you. And you would have never known... I could have never..."

He is losing focus, he's rambling and his eyes are filling with tears now. There's just so much, so much he needs to say, so much still in the air. He can't waste any more time if this is his only chance.

"Breathe... take a deep breath..." he hears Cas saying. 

"Dean, it's ok. I'm here now, it's ok."

"No, it's not." He takes Cas's hand and the contact grounds him a little.

"What you said, before The Empty took you. Cas, you would have been there forever and never known just how much I love you too." He's crying now, quiet tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry I could never tell you, I'm so sorry I was never man enough to own up to my feelings. But everything we've been through... you were my beacon, you were..." But his voice fails him and he drifts off. He swallows hard.

And Cas is doing what he does best. He looks at him with his beatific, radiant smile that could bless mountains if he wished. He gently squeezes Dean's hand. 

"It's good that I'm here then," he smiles at him. 

Instinctively Dean lifts his hand to touch Cas's face in a gentle caress. Cas leans in to the touch and closes his eyes for a second. Then he looks at him again, eyes brimming with love and adoration and Dean takes up the last of his courage, to hell with restraint and bottling things up, and quickly presses their lips together. It's short and soft and warm, and everything he has ever imagined. Yes, he has imagined it a hundred, a thousand times, if not more. He pulls back and looks away, shy now after all. 

"Dean. It's ok. We're ok." 

When he looks up Cas is still smiling, and this gives him enough courage to do it again. And then they're kissing, gently and slowly, cataloging each other's lips and tasting each other, only drawing back to catch air. And then they're close again, leaning their foreheads together, finally both smiling, finally content, finally happy. 

Cas is the first to withdraw, but still staying near. "Let us go, I'll show you Heaven."

 _Our heaven_ , Dean thinks.

And then they're off, walking towards the light, hand in hand. 

It's time for a new chapter, one they've never had before. But they have all eternity now, and this is just the beginning.


End file.
